


A Rough Day

by Who_Cares



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Depressed Simon Snow, Extremely Caring Baz, Worried Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:35:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22275688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_Cares/pseuds/Who_Cares
Summary: Simon is having a bad day and Baz wants to help. The only problem is that Simon just wants to be left alone.I Don't Want to Talk About It from Simon's point of view.
Relationships: Snowbaz - Relationship, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	A Rough Day

Simon's POV

I’m on the couch in the living room, staring at the television, but I’m not absorbing any of what I’m seeing. I have this vague recollection of having somewhere to be, but I’m not sure where it is and I couldn’t make myself move even if I did. My day has been one long hazy fog since I woke up. My dreams last night were vivid nonsensical nightmares full of reminders of things I hate thinking about and the thoughts have stuck with me all day. I’m exhausted, I feel sort of sick to my stomach, my head feels fuzzy, everything looks dull, and I'm so tired. I don't want to sleep anymore though. I know I'll just have more bad dreams. I somehow managed to drag myself out here to the couch instead of staying in my room, but the T.V isn’t as good of a distraction as I had been hoping. I hear the front door open and close, and I assume it’s Penny coming in until I hear a voice that was much deeper than hers talking to me. 

“Snow? Are you okay?” 

Baz, I realize, but why was he here? I look over at him, trying and failing to force myself to smile. Even that is too much work at the moment. “Oh…” I hear myself say. “It’s you… I thought you were Penny. She’s been out since early this morning, but... umm… yeah. I’m fine.” My voice even sounds dull to me and I can tell from his expression that he’s worried about me. I really hope he doesn’t ask me about it. I really just want to be left alone.

“We were supposed to go out earlier, and you didn’t tell me you weren’t coming. You didn’t call, you didn’t text, nothing. I was worried something happened to you…” So that’s what I was supposed to do today… I know I should feel bad, but I can barely bring myself to care at all.

“I’m fine.” I say. It’s obviously a lie, but I hope he’ll just drop it.

“Are you sure? You seem sort of out of it.”

“I’m fine. Stop asking.” I say, looking back over at the T.V.

“Simon… pause that and talk to me for a minute.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m fine. You should just go.”

“We both know you aren’t fine. Why won’t you just talk to me?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong, okay? I’m just… really tired.”

“Okay… Can I sit with you?”

“I guess so.”

He sits next to me and I find myself leaning over and lightly nuzzling the crook of his neck. I breathe in deeply, taking in the familiar smell of cedar, bergamot, and Baz. It’s a strong reminder of being at Watford. A relaxing homey smell that’s even better without the worry of Baz purposely trying to pick a fight. He wraps his arms around me, and I relax a bit, and with that small release of the tension that had been there all day, tears well in my eyes. I don’t want to be crying. I know it will make Baz try to talk to me more, but I can’t stop, and a moment later I’m sobbing heavily into his shoulder.

Baz hugs me tightly, his hand slowly rubbing up and down my arm. “Would you just tell me what’s bothering you?” I suppose I should be grateful he waited that long to make another comment...

“I don’t want to talk about it…” I say, sniffling softly.

“I can’t help if you won’t talk to me.”

“I don’t need help! I just want the pain to go away!” I say, the sharpness and the volume of it, shocks me, and from the way he stiffens, I can tell I surprised Baz as well. I didn’t mean to snap, but I did and I can’t take it back, and I’m in too bad of a mood to apologize for it.

“Simon… Talk to me. Tell me what’s bothering you. Let me help.” Baz says, voice calm and soft. I know he’s trying to comfort me, and I am grateful that he’s not angry with me for yelling, but the fact that he’s still not listening makes me more frustrated.

“I don’t want to talk about it! How many times do I have to tell you that? If you can’t accept that you should just fucking leave!”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong, and don’t try lying to me again.” Baz says, getting annoyed himself. “You aren’t fine. Don’t pretend like you are.”

“Just get your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight! I can’t do this anymore… not with you.” I realize only after I say it how strangely I worded it, but my brain is cloudy and I’m furious that he isn’t listening to me. At least I know my point came across clearly.

“Simon…”

“This isn’t up for debate! Just go!”

“What are you saying?” he asks. He sounds so sad, and part of me wants to apologize, but the rest of me is too angry to do anything but yell.

“I can’t deal with you right now! Just go away! I don’t want to talk, and you aren’t listening! Just get out!”

“Has it ever occurred to you that you’re hurting me too when you do things like this?” Baz asks, and the statement makes me feel like crying again. “I hate it when you feel like this. I can’t do anything to help you and you won’t even tell me what you’re thinking. You just get all quiet and weird and then you start drinking... I want to help you. Why won’t you let me?”

“I… I’m sorry…” I say, feeling tears well up in my eyes again. “I just… I can’t...”

“You can’t?” he asks, arching an eyebrow at me. For some reason his confusion frustrates me further, and I glare at him, blinking back the tears.

“You act like you’ve never even met me before. You may have an easy time explaining things, but for me… It feels like swallowing a bowling ball would be easier than talking most of the time. You pushing me to talk helps nothing. It just makes me angry, and I feel more like I’m going to go off than like I want to talk. So I’m sorry you’re frustrated, but I just can’t.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything…” Baz mutters quietly. “It doesn’t make any of this better. Not you, not me, and not this relationship. I’m your boyfriend. If you can’t talk to me, who can you talk to?”

“Don’t you get it? You are the last person I feel like I can share all my feelings with! You bullied me for years, and while that may be over now, while you may be my boyfriend now, I still don’t trust you enough to tell you everything! I just can’t do it!”

“I thought you trusted me. Do you really think that little of me?” he asks, sounding hurt.

“I’m sorry! It’s not like I want to feel that way! I do trust you. Just… not fully. Not yet. Not enough to tell you all of the worst things in my life. To tell you the things that hurt me the most. Not when I’m still worried that you may turn around and use it to hurt me.”

“You really feel that way?”

“You can’t honestly believe that I could just instantly trust you after how you treated me for all of our time at Watford can you? You can’t honestly be that dumb.”

“Fine… I’ll go now. I’m sorry I bothered you.” he says coldly. Great. Now he’s angry too. This is the last thing I needed today. 

“Baz…” I say quietly.

“What? Isn’t that exactly what you’ve been wanting to me to do since I showed up?” he snaps, scowling at me. 

“Fine… Do whatever you want.” I mumble. I’m done arguing. I’m so tired.

He gets up and puts on his shoes and jacket, a deep frown on his face. “Happy now? Huh? Does this make you happy?” he asks, and that’s all it takes for me to get angry again.

“You absolute fucking idiot.” I say, getting up and walking over to him, my tail lashing around behind me in frustration. I should have expected something like this. It’s so like him to bug me until I explode and then act like he’s the one who should be angry. “Sometimes it just isn’t about you.”

“How is it not about me?!” he yells. “You just told me that you don’t trust me!”

“Merlin Baz! Would you just shut the fuck up?!”

“I’m trying to be nice, but I’m done trying to help you. I’m going to go home for the night.”

“No. You aren’t leaving while we’re both this angry with each other.” I say, stepping closer to him. I can’t let him leave like this. Not today. I won’t be able to sleep or relax, and then Penny will bug me as well.

“What? You really want to keep going with this conversation?” Baz snaps. Arsehole. Does he ever shut up?

“Something like that.” I say. And then I kiss him. This isn’t the first time I have kissed him just because I don’t want him to talk anymore, and I’m sure it won’t be the last, but I don’t care.

And with that we’re tangled together, just trying to get closer to each other. His fingers slide into my hair, and my hands slide over him. Slowly I slide my hands under his jacket up near the collar and I push it down off of his shoulders. He moves his hands off of me for just long enough to pull the jacket the rest of the way off before wrapping his arms around my waist. 

I pull him toward my bedroom and we end up leaving a trail of clothes behind as we try not to separate our mouths any longer than absolutely necessary. Shoes, socks, shirts and trousers are left in the hallway. For a moment, my mind goes to Penny and how much I hope she doesn’t come back before we’ve finished this and picked everything up, but I can’t bring myself to care for more than a couple of seconds. I press Baz down onto my bed before slowly sliding his pants off of him, pressing kisses down his chest. 

“Simon…” Baz says softly.

I don’t even bother answering. I just move back up and kiss him roughly, a kiss that’s all tongue and teeth and wanting, my hand wrapping tightly around his cock as I start to slowly stroke it. He’s groaning into my mouth, tugging at my hair, digging his nails into me and dragging up my back, and all I can think about is the feeling of it all. How good it is, and how badly I want him.

I don’t pull away until I’m completely out of air. Then I finally tear my mouth away from his, panting heavily. 

“Fuck!” Baz exclaims. “Aleister Crowley!”

I smirk. “Yeah?” I ask, continuing to stroke his cock. Getting Baz to slowly come undone is one of my favorite things. Getting him to go from his usual snarky, eloquent, refined self, to a moaning, begging mess is absolutely wonderful. 

“Oh Merlin Simon…” Baz groans, tilting his head back.

I lean down and kiss the base of his neck, slowly moving up to his ear, sucking and biting and listening to him moan and feeling him writhe under me as I continue to slowly stroke his cock. 

“Let me fuck you.” I whisper in his ear.

“Absolutely. Please do.” Baz says, smirking slightly.

I grin and kiss him again, readjusting myself and grinding against him. 

Baz groans, sliding his thumbs under the waistband of my pants, slowly pushing them down, and I move to get them completely off of me, getting the bottle of lube out of my nightstand drawer before grinding against him again. 

“Merlin…” Baz moans, bucking his hips up toward me. I grind down a little harder against him and he groans louder. “Crowley Simon… Please I need you inside me.”

“Begging already?” I ask, smirking slightly and opening the bottle of lube.

“Oh come on Snow. You know how long I’ve wanted this. Do you really think I want to wait any- ahhh~ fuck!” he groans as I slowly press one lube slicked finger into his entrance. 

“Happy now?” I ask, slowly moving my finger in and out of him, pressing a little deeper each time.

“I’ll be happy when it’s- Ngh… When it’s your cock and not just your finger that’s inside me.”

“Jeez. It really does take shoving something in your mouth to make you shut up doesn’t it?” I ask, pushing my finger deep into him.

“Ahh~ ’s not… Mmm… not my mouth I’m wanting you to shove something in Snow. Not that I’d really complain if you did…”

“I swear to Merlin I will gag you if you don’t shut up.” I say, bending my finger a bit and pressing firmly against his smooth walls as I slide it back out of him again.

Baz moans. “Why don’t you do it then Snow?”

“Git.”

“Coward.”

I roll my eyes.

“Just hurry up would you?”

“Needy twat.” I grumble, fairly roughly pushing a second finger into him before continuing to stretch.

Baz groans loudly, his eyes falling closed. “Ohh~ Fuck…”

“Feels good then?” I ask, smirking lightly.

“Ngh~ Would you just hurry up?”

I huff, but do as he asks. I’m not exactly feeling very patient myself today.

Baz groans loudly as I push my fingers deeper inside of him and find his prostate, rubbing against it and continuing to stretch him.  
…

Baz’s POV

Snow scissors me open quickly, no longer bothering to be gentle about it (Thank magic). 

“Gods Simon… Fuck!” He kisses the inside of my thigh, smiling softly. “Ngh…”

“Ready now?” he asks me, moving and slowly licking up the precome that had drizzled down my cock and onto my stomach.

I let out a hum that's more of a whine than the affirmation I had meant it to be and Snow chuckles, lightly sucking at the tip of my cock before pulling away and slowly pulling his fingers out. I whimper softly, mourning the loss. 

He shifts, leaning down and kissing me again. I hum softly again his mouth, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. Then I push him back up. 

“Would you please just fuck me already?”

Simon smirks at me. “I suppose.”

I roll my eyes. “Get on with it then Snow.”

He picks up the bottle of lube and pours a generous amount into his hand, starting to slick his cock with it.

I readjust myself, getting into a more comfortable position, and wait for him to finish.

Then he’s hovering over me, smiling a little, he leans down and kisses me, and I push him away again after only a second.

“Merlin Snow, just fuck me already!”

Simon chuckles again. “Whatever you say.” he says. Then he shoves into me with a lewd, wet noise. It burns in the most wonderful way possible, and I let out a loud groan, gripping the sheets tightly and wrapping my legs around his waist.

“Great snakes Simon! Fuck! Don’t take it easy on me or anything!” I groan, only half being sarcastic.

“Don’t worry you brat. I won’t.” he growls. Fuck...

Only when he starts to move a second later do I understand just how much he meant that. I make a noise that’s half sob and half moan as he slams into me. Even my greatest fantasies have been nothing compared to this. I completely lose the ability to think clearly as he sets up a hard steady rhythm, slamming so hard into me it feels like he’s splitting me open. The only sounds that come out of my gaping mouth are incoherent gasping groans that I have no control over. Every noise being forced out of me by jarring thrusts of his cock into my arse. His wings are outstretched and they flap a bit with his movements, creating a breeze which I’m sure would make me cold if the rest of him wasn’t making me feel like I was burning from the inside out.

He’s definitely making good use of his frustration, slamming into me harder than I ever would have expected him to, an anger in him that I hadn’t felt directed at me in a long while. Both of us were being fairly loud, from the moans coming out of us to the filthy wet noises and the slapping sounds made from Simon fucking me. Only then do I start to think that I probably should have used a silencing charm before we started. I start thinking that I hope that none of his neighbors hear us, but after thinking for about half a second, I change my mind. I sort of hope someone does overhear us. “Fuck Simon… Gods, yes!” I moan.

Simon groans. “Fuck... you feel good Baz. Jesus christ…”

Simon slams into me again and I let out a long moan. “Holy fuck…”

He continues to thrust into me, hard and fast, letting out small groans. Slowly I feel his rhythm fall apart, and I am not at all surprised when I hear his moan of, “Fuck Baz… I’m close.”

“Ngh… Just don’t stop.”

He gives a few more hard thrusts before groaning loudly and shuddering against me, his wings folding in tightly against his back and his tail squeezing tightly around my ankle and calf as he moans my name and fills me with hot come. I feel it start to drip out of me as he continues to pump his hips, his pace and the strength of the thrusts still unrelenting. His angle changes slightly, and I nearly scream in pleasure as he starts battering at my prostate. 

“Crowley Simon~ Fuck…” I groan.

I feel Snow reach his hand down between us, and I feel it slide over my arse before wrapping around my cock, slick with his own cum. It’s all gloriously filthy and after a few pulls, paired with shallow thrusts into me, I come hard, splattering it over Simon and myself, my body convulsing, arse contracting around his cock as he starts to slow before pulling out and moving off of me.

I gasp sharply as my arse touches the bed, quickly rolling over onto my side. “Holy fuck…” I pant.

“Mmm…” Simon hums, panting heavily, lying next to me.  
…

Simon’s POV  
“Good talk Snow.” Baz says, still panting heavily, a little smile on his lips. 

“I thought so too.” I reply, smiling a bit, moving over and gently kissing him again.

He kisses back, grinning against my mouth. “I’m sorry for being so upset earlier. Honestly, I understand your reasoning for not being able to talk to me. But… you should know I will never do anything like that to you. I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve never really wanted to hurt you. I have no motivation to upset you. I… I love you.” he says

“I love you too.” I say quietly. “And I will talk to you eventually. Just not yet. I’m not ready yet.”

“That’s fine. Just know I’m not going anywhere. Not anytime soon. I won’t push you to talk anymore, but don’t push me away either. Let me be here for you until you trust me enough to tell me everything, okay?”

I nod, wrapping my arm around him and snuggling close.

“Promise me?” he asks.

“I promise.”

“Feeling better now?”

“Much.”

“Good. What do you say we go shower together?” Baz asks. He could easily just use spells to clean us, and my wings take up a lot of space, which is frustrating, and Baz isn’t the biggest fan of small spaces, so I know he’s only offering because he wants to make me happy. He knows how much I hate having cleaning spells used on me. The small amount of kindness makes me smile.

“A hot shower sounds really good.” I say. 

“Good. Why don’t we do that and then we can order food and snuggle on the couch for a bit. How does that sound?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Come on then.” Baz says, getting up and holding out a hand to me. I smile and take it, getting up and following him to the bathroom.

Baz starts the shower and then waits for it to warm up before pulling me into it, carefully drawing me close and pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

I sigh softly and lean into him a bit, closing my eyes. His hands slide over me as he kisses me, everything soft and tender. It’s sort of strange for him to be this nice, but I’m definitely not complaining.

“Alright… turn around love. Let me wash your hair.” he says softly.

I do as he asks, carefully turning around so I don’t hit him with my wings. Baz gets the two of us cleaned off, letting me lean against him, my eyes closed. Eventually we both get out and Baz hands me a towel. We both dry off and then go to my room and get dressed. Baz ends up in one of my hoodies and a pair of my sweatpants. The pants are too short on him, and I find myself smiling a bit in amusement. It’s strange to see him in clothes that don’t fit him properly.

“I wish I would have thought to bring my own pajamas.” Baz says.

I shrug, still smiling a little

“At least it’s comfortable for the most part.” Baz says. “I’m stealing your socks by the way. My feet are freezing.”

I laugh softly and get out a thick pair of socks. I mostly had them for him anyway. I don’t get cold easily, but he’s almost always cold.

“Thank you.”

“Mmhmm.” 

“Come on. Let’s go snuggle.”  
…

Baz’s POV

It’s not exactly easy for Simon to be the little spoon with his wings, but once we got out to the living room, his energy level seemed to drop, and when I sat down on the couch, he climbed into my lap, wrapping his arms around me with a little sigh. I sigh softly. 

“Get up for just one second?”

He nods and slowly gets up. I move, turning sideways and then I hold my arms out. 

“Alright. C’mere.”

He sits down next to me, snuggling close. There’s just barely enough room on the couch for us like this, but he’s curled up half on top of me, so it doesn’t really matter. 

“Are you hungry?” I ask him.

Simon shakes his head, nuzzling into the crook of my neck and closing his eyes.

“Just tired hmm?” I ask. 

He nods.

“Need anything?” 

He shakes his head again.

“Alright love…” I say softly. 

Simon makes a small humming noise, and then he falls quiet again, his breathing slowly becoming slower and more deep as he falls asleep.  
…

Simon’s POV:

I wake up to Baz picking me up. It’s darker than when I fell asleep, but I have no idea what time it is. I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my tail around his arm, letting my eyes fall back closed. I feel a soft kiss to my cheek and then I’m being set down on my bed, Baz lays down with me, moving close, the blanket covers me, I hear Baz’s soft breathing, feel his arm around me, his head on my chest, and slowly I fall asleep. One thought repeating in the back of my head. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad day after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Please feel free to comment any thoughts you have. I live for reading comments, and constructive criticism is always greatly appreciated.


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